In Memory of...

Three days deep in a hangover and some torrential downpour on a normally outdoor day, led my mom and I on a morning long de-junking of the house.  It is her favorite activity...forcing her kids to go through years of childhood memorabilia, pitching what we don't want to keep, reminiscing over the bits we want to salvage.  I can't even count the number of times we have engaged in this pursuit and I really wonder how much we end up getting rid of, but I always find extreme laughter amongst my treasures.

The best aspect of rummaging through grade school boxes

 is the Picasso-like artwork, the fifth grade journal entries and all the unattractive pre-puberty-awkward age photos that even though they are hideous and nothing you would want a potential love interest to see, you can not (repeat for emphasis) CAN NOT, get yourself to throw away. And seriously, thank god.

I laugh every single time. Sometimes, losing the ability to breathe.  For Christmas '93, I received a fluorescent pink, yellow and blue journal with the name Sassy printed on the cover. I tried to claim that I was a mere 8 years old, but when I did the math this morning I discovered I was in fact a wise and mature 10. I wish I could scan 

it because the handwriting is half the humor. Here is a dip into my fifth grade psyche...(spelling is all verbatim as to not lose context)

December 25th, 1993

Dear Sassy,    

Today is Christmas! I got a lot of neat stuff. I got a kereokia, ballet lessons, watch, 

slippers, Cds, Menopoly, earrings and ski stuff. It has been the BEST christmas ever! I hope everyone had the same. And more to see in the future.

My sister got me some earrings and I didn't get anything for her. I feel bad so I am going to let her use my stereo system thing when she wants. My brother got a game of Trouble (pop-a-matic). My mom got something to put in your underwear draw and Hutch got a cd from me.

I remember that Christmas well. I held the watch under the water for three minutes to try and prove its "water resistance" only to soon find out tha

t "water resistance" meant like 30 seconds. My stereo system thing was a very state of the art sound system that allowed a duo karaoke performance. I would set it up in the living room and belt out George Michael and Phil Collins. Mom, any regrets of that purchase? And not only did I get Sam nothing that year, but I believe the following year I got her a tin of tri-flavored popcorn. Is it any wonder she spent years calling me a boy? As I read this out loud to my mom, she turned to me with a look of obviously and stated "Sam doesn't forget anything."  

December 27th, 1993

Dear Sassy,

Tonight I am going to sleep over at a friends house and have fun so I am writing early.

I just cleaned my mice cage out and read a book. I am going to play Nintendo soon. In

Mario 3, I can almost save the Princess. I have never concord any of my nintendo games.

I have seven video games for it. Well, I got to go buy!

Ewwww that mouse cage was gross. And what kind of parent buys their daughter pet mice? What I really

wanted was a hamster. My Mom said no, so like any Father trying to gain vote for #1 dad, he

bought me two mice instead (Yoshi and Pebbles) k

nowing very well that would anger her tremendously. 

I didn't want to admit it then because my desire for a caged animal far surpassed my fear of rodents,

but I was so deathly afraid of those mice. And who wouldn't be? Pebbles was an albino mouse

with red eyes that glowed and stared at me while I tried to sleep. That might explain why they both

suffered fatal respiratory problems during their few weeks of existence....I hardly went near their

cage.

December 28, 1993

Dear Sassy,

Tonight I am going to Anns again so I have to right now. Today has been interesting.

I won one game in Trouble with Hutch and Charlie and then they each won a game. My

sister was real nice to me, thats strange! Then I hear alot of good songs on the radio in a row.

I call that luck! In about a week I have to go back to school to learn all you have to learn in 

the fifth grade. Well I have to go to Anns now so buy!

This one had me in stitches...I still think I am the luckiest girl ever when I hear back-to-back good songs

on the radio.

Time has passed...now we are in 1994...another year older.

5-25-94

Dear Sassy,

Today was the best day ever. First, almost every boy in the cl

ass was being really nice to

me. And they were like all weird, especially David. Now 

he was the nicest. He let me wear

his hat when it got real sunny and hot. Now he thinks I am his girlfriend. How cool! Ann

and I made up on the ride back from our field trip. My life is so cool. Pebbles is doing bad. 

She is sleeping now but she keeps gasping for air. I think she is on the verge of death. Well

its time to hit the hay!

Yours Jamie

I am pretty sure the next day I witnessed my step-dad extract P

ebbles from her cage with chopsticks to 

bury her in the makeshift grave we created in the backyard. I invited Liz Nak, the girl I had pawned Pebbles 

off to but later who gave her back because her trailing illness, to the ceremony, but she was

a no show. How rude. If I could time travel back to the fifth grade knowing what I know now about

the Hanta virus and boys, I would have begged for Beta fish and would have flirted with Sean Brennan

way more than David Giovicchini.

ok last one...

(No date)

Dear Sassy,

Sorry its been so long. I've been thinking

And that was it. No more Sass to it. No more entries at all. I wonder if I am still thinking about

my thoughts from that day...

And the laughter didn't end there. Soon after this discovery my mom brought in an 

overflowing bag of Charlies artwork. One year, he must have been about 7, he decided to

draw a family portrait. On the poster board-sized canvas, we see five figures. On the far left is the

largest body and as they make their way to the right, they each get smaller and smaller in

progression. The largest face has stitches and scars blazing across the chin and forehead, a fake

earring dangling from the right ear and a skull and cross bones t-shirt. He has this labeled ME, Skr Fase.

Than we have Hutch, the next in line with the marker Man of the Hous. Than Mom, Sam and Jamie.

Across the top were the words Happy Happy scratched out with blue paint and than a very simple

Thaksgiving. And it wasn't all the mis-spelled words that made this picture hilarious (although

that definitely aided) but the fact that he drew us all with butt chins. We don't have butt chins!

He even hung very droopy U's as breasts for the ladies. I positive Sam and I didn't have boobs then.

It was such a hit that my mom took it straight to Kinkos and made copies to send out as our family

holiday card. Where most families get dressed in khaki and matching sweaters. Thats what divides

us from the rest.

We kept digging and unearthed more archaeological findings. Pictures of Elizabeth Reeves and I

dressed in plaid flannel pajama pants in 8th grade, my pre-school ballerina action shots, high

school dance photos, our astrological totem charts (what kid doesn't have this?)...notes to

all 57 middle school crushes.

Even letters that my parents had written each other. Some professed the undying love they had 

for one another. How they met that sultry day at a family party and couldn't keep their eyes off each

other leading to a romance both volcanic and tumultuous. Others revealed years of un-confronted 

pain. I read a few and was able to taste a bit of what their relationship had been. Salty and sweet and

often bitter but quite fulfilling nonetheless. I often wonder what words my Dad would write today as he

was witty and sharp in his prime.

Oh memory lane. Its like taking a rollercoaster ride in reverse. I don't think I got

rid of much, but I laughed until my cheeks were sore.